Mean Mommy

...that's me!

Today, I said "No!" at various decibels in response to the following:

1. Impaling fork into tray
2. Throwing poorly cooked orzo across room
3. Jumping on bed in an effort to cause concussion
4. Slapping brother's head. Twice.
5. Putting pieces of chicken into water glass. Wiping wet chicken on me.
6. Yelling "Mine!" while hugging every item on a communal playspace
7. Waking up momentarily sleeping newborn by pulling on his toes at the crack of dawn and yelling "Baby Out!!"
8. Recreationally ripping toilet paper that A nor I will remember to replace when we run out.
9. Running amok with popsicle stick in mouth.
10. Refusing to share chalk with little Max and his baby sister -- whose lovely mother, incidentally, is recovering from CHEMOTHERAPY for CANCER and hanging out at the playground. And yet I still have the audacity to be bitching right now?

Chloe is a totally different child with A: laughing (not the sinister one she reserves for me), gleeful, adorable. As they splashed each other in the bath I commented on this fact and A said: "Try being fun".

I am too tired for fun.

Though I might add that despite all of the above irritation, I discovered that it feels really freaking good to have a Thomas engine (or one of his fellow trains) dragged up and down your back at the end of the day. Try it.